So, this week did not start off well and it is definitely not going as planned. My weeks start on Sunday nights. However, even by my standards, I’m thinking of just scraping this week and moving on to next.
Last night, I sat down and began working on Innocent Dreams around 10 pm. At around 11:30 pm, I had roughly 1,500 words written and everything was falling into place. Meaning the writing was really starting to flow. Then Lola popped out of bed and came into the living room. She needed out. I took her out.
When we came back in, she curled up on the couch next to me. About ten minutes later, she moved onto my lap and my laptop. She deleted all of chapter 6 in Innocent Dreams and then shut down my computer when I tried to move her paw and undo her deletion (she moved the other one onto the power button). Roughly, 2,300 words gone. I know she didn’t mean to do it. She’s a dog, she just wanted attention, but it’s still frustrating. I quit working last night and spent time loving on her.
Now for this morning. My SO is a mechanic and sometimes, bad things happen to mechanics. I know guys who have lost fingers and nearly bled to death because something went ary and cut the shit out of them.
What I was not prepared for was a phone call at 9:20 am telling me he had caught on fire. He’s a mower mechanic and was working on a machine that had gas in the engine. He removed the spark plugs and started draining the gas, when it caught fire and caught him on fire. I’m pretty good in a crisis when it’s happening. So I managed to calmly get to the ER and sit in the room with him.
It wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. First and second degree burns to his left arm, the left side of his chest, and on his face. He’s doped up and sore. The dressing have to be changed every so often and we have to make sure they stay clean and dry. But his work shirts melt, they don’t burn like cotton. Somehow, his went up in flames, but didn’t melt to his skin. Also, despite the gasoline being on fire and spewing onto him, there were no places that sustained third degree burns.
Few things hurt like burns and I know he’s in pain, but he’s taking the pain meds and following doctor’s orders… which is amazing because he isn’t real good about following orders or going to doctors or taking pills.
Now that the crisis is over though, I just want to sit and cry for a few minutes. It scared the shit out of me. And I am very thankful that it wasn’t worse, because it could have easily been…
So, maybe tomorrow I’ll get back on track or maybe Wednesday. Today, I’m done.
Hadena James 
OMG! I am so sorry about your SO and I’m so glad it was not worse! Great that he’s taking his meds and that you can take care of him – i can understand why you need time to just cry out the stress from it all. Bummer on Lola the Destroyer deleting a chapter but at least you can rewrite it – consider it a pre-edit in a way…lol….And yes…feel free to start the week over – I would like to too
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Sometimes it seems like we forget to take a moment to breathe. I’m planning a little “me” time after he goes to bed.
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Very sorry about your SO, prayers go out to heal him quickly. Hope you keep writing the Dreams books forever. I am on the consecutive 7th one which I’ve never done in my life read so many in a series without breaks for another author in between. Love your books. Gosh, what a talent.
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Thank you
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Wow hope is pain eases soon. I have always heard that is the most painful thing. Take time for you too. If you need to just go to another room, go and let it out. Go to your car and scream to your hearts content. Go to the rr and cry your eyes out. You will be surprised at the amount of stress and the amount of fear it will release. Then dry your eyes, go back to him and you can be there in full form for him.
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Sending you and the SO whatever you may need to get through. The accident sounds horrible and I’m certain feels worse. Healing thoughts for all.
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My SO is also a mechanic and he comes home with cuts and bruises every day. He wears these reminders like badges of honor laughing as he relives the “story” of how it happened. All I can see are the how much worse it could have been moments. I dread I the day I get the call that one of those moments have happened (again). It is not the same brutal game of Roulette the SOs of soldier’s, police officers, firemen/women and other public service offices must feel, but I can guarantee it is a form of torture too. **Deep breath** But it gets better. Every day when he comes home it is better. When he doesn’t need stitches and just some neosporin and a band-aid will do is a victory. Sometimes reminding myself of how much worse it could have been makes it a little easier to breathe the next night when I tell him to be good and be safe. Your SO will heal and he will more than likely go back to work sooner than you would like. The anxiety will be there for awhile as you play the “what-if” game (like you do when sleeping) – but that will get better too. It will become a memory that I hope you never have to relive. It is one day, one tear, one breath at a time. But it gets better.
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He’s already returned part time and yes, I would have liked a few more days for his chest burn to heal, but he was determined. The only I could do was wrap and bandage the burns to the best of my ability and send him on his way.
It is strange though. We do the same song and dance almost every day: What did you do to body part X and did you put anything on it? I don’t know what I did, but I put some alcohol on it (and occasionally black tape). – One day it was “hit myself in the leg with a sledge hammer because the part I was trying to knock lose moved.” I look at him those days and think “One day, I’m going to get that call and he’s going to be on the way to the ER with something serious.”… But you never really expect it to happen, because while they may hurt themselves all the time, it’s their job and it’s rarely bad and you just get used to it. And yes, you hear the horror stories of mechanics losing body parts or having things fall on them, but they aren’t cops or soldiers, so you while you know it happens, it isn’t a “dangerous job” until it is and flaming gasoline shoots out of a motor without spark plugs or a something rips itself apart and needs thirty stitches to close the gaping gash in a leg or an arm…
Thankfully, I hold up during a crisis and release the tension, fear, anxiety, and horror later, when I have a moment to myself.
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Also, I’m so glad to hear that other mechanics wives/live-ins have these same emotions. When it first happened, I was fine, then when I could take a moment to breath and process it and the tears started to flow, I wondered if it was just my anxiety disorder getting the best of me!
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