D. Joseph Meyer, MD, PhD and a Different Kind of Doctor

For the pain in my legs and now, my hip, I get injections into the joints (spine and pelvis for my legs and the hip for my hip).  I see Dr. Joseph Meyer with Interventional Pain Management in Columbia Missouri.

When I started seeing him a year ago, I had lost hope that my leg pain would be fixed… ever.  I also had no clue what to expect.  I had never visited a pain management clinic because I had never needed to manage pain long term.

When my primary care doctor set up the appointment, he actually told me, he made it with Dr. Meyer because he thought we’d get along.  I can be a difficult patient and weird shit happens to me because I am just naturally clumsy.

It turns out, my primary care doctor was absolutely correct.  I cannot say enough good things about Dr. Meyer.  Today, I went in for a follow up to my injections in April (yep, it’s been a while) and he decided to check out my hip that the ER told me didn’t hurt.

Turns out it really does.  Dr. Meyer worked me in for steroids and numbing stuff injected into my hip.  Tonight, I am mostly pain free.  I still get a twinge when I stand for a long time, but it doesn’t just ache all the time like it did.

For the record, injections into the spine and turns out the hip, are really painful.  I want to scream and cuss when they do them.  The medication burns like liquid fire.  Also, there is a pressure-induced pain where it just feels like your skin and muscles are going to rupture from them pushing the medication in.  In the hours that follow, I have to keep a log of my pain and when my legs stop hurting, but the truth is, all I can think about is how much the injection sites hurt.  Movement makes me feel like the injection sites are ripping open.  I’m just miserable on those days.

I keep doing it because that day or two of pain is soooooo much better than the crushing sensation I get in my legs.  And it has surprisingly really really helped my migraines.  I might have three or four a month now (except right now when I’mm so stressed out that moving my head seems to make it hurt).  So much better than Botox.

Anyway, I  was lying on my left side, with my right butt checked exposed to nurses, nurse practitioners, and the doctor, and I was waiting for the pain that I knew was going to come.  And when it did, I wanted to scream.  I had a moment when I wondered if the pain in my hip was really as bad as the pain from the injections.

As the meds were going in, Dr. Meyer was telling me how he wanted to be a serial killer in one of my books and how he wanted to kill people.  It made me smile despite the pain.  Which is why I manage to make it through the injections without screaming, each and every time.  Dr. Meyer helps keep me focused on other things, things that make me smile and take my mind away from the pain.

And it didn’t just start in the procedure room.  He was using “air quotes” when we talked about my “hip pain” that the ER said I didn’t have.  He was making jokes while forcing my hip to move in ways that it absolutely did not want to move.

He’s thorough, but he seems to remember that sometimes, a smile and a giggle is some of the best medicine.  And he did this with a full schedule when really, I wasn’t supposed to see him today, just discuss with the nurse about my last injections and then she said she wanted to talk about my hip pain…  Sure, because it is killing me.  He just fit me in and got it sorted out to treat me today for something the ER told me I was imagining.  I do have sciatica, but there is indeed pain in the joint that is not going to respond to Tylenol no matter how large the dosage.  Hence why he put anesthesia and steroids into it today.

So, if you live in Mid-Missouri and need a good pain management doctor, I highly recommend Dr. Meyer with Columbia Interventional Pain Management.  He can keep you smiling regardless of how much it hurts and sometimes, that is the only thing that keeps a person from screaming.


Where Has Hadena Gone?

I survived my book talk on Tuesday.  There were a few moments of doubt on my part, as I slugged down several extra strength Tylenol so I could sit comfortably.  Aside from that two hours, I’ve pretty much been doing as little as possible.

First, let me explain the process, because most people are thinking they are like shots.  They really aren’t.  They mark the spots with pen where they are going to insert the needles.  Then they insert all the needles… all of them.  This time it was 18.  The doctor then moves from needle to needle with the medicine.  The syringe is screwed onto the needle, the medicine injected, the syringe unscrewed, and onto the next.  This is followed by a repeat of that same procedure on all the needles.  For 45 minutes, I laid on my stomach over an X-Ray machine that helped them guide the needles in and avoid bone, as they moved to each needle, injected, and etc.

Monday, I got injections for the leg pain that I suffer due to nerve irritation going through my SI joints.  The injections do help.  This time though, they made me sick.  Monday I ran a fever, was nauseated, slept most of the day, and hurt like you would not believe.

They hit my sciatic nerve on both sides this time.  That was interesting.  When the needle was inserted, my leg drew up all on its own and I couldn’t do anything about it.  So the injection went into a tensed leg on each side and felt like molten lava.

Those sites are still bothering me even today.  Tylenol is helping, but not much.  I can’t take NSAIDS, which sucks, because I think ibuprofen or ketorolac would help a lot more…

As bad as the sciatic injections were though, there was one worse.  There is a large nerve that runs through the pelvis from front to back.  To get to it, they stuck a needle in the crack of my ass. Holy shit.  It was unexpected and it hurt like hell.  No molten lava sensations, which was nice, but it feels like they tore everything down there.

It did teach me a few things:

  • My doctor has a sense of humor and I did tell him I was going to kill him in a book, which he was fine with.  It’s nice to have a doctor with a sense of humor.  I try very hard to be stoic when having any sort of procedure done and that means cracking jokes.  Having a doctor that jokes back is really nice.  I did yelp though when they did the three big ones.  However, I still got a pat on the back by the nurses and the doctor who said most people cry or scream during the procedures, so my tiny yelps were easy to deal with.
  • Injecting into large nerves hurts more than joints and smaller nerves.  And the recovery time seems to be longer.  I’m still having trouble getting comfortable when I sleep and standing/sitting is awful.  Bending and lifting is pretty bad.  I keep walking and doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but the healing is not going nearly as fast as the first time and it’s only those three injection sites that are still bothering me.
  • Whatever the hell is wrong with me responds to large doses of gabapentin.  I’ve mentioned before that sometimes I wake up and I just feel broken in half or the simple act of getting out of bed makes everything hurt. Literally, getting out of bed can be painful in my arms, back, feet, ears, it’s weird to have that happen.  However, after getting the injections, I stopped taking the gabapentin and found those familiar aches and pains coming back.  So today, I took a few that I had and found that tonight, I’m not having the pain I normally have that I just attribute to getting older.  I’m beginning to believe my doctor might be correct and a rheumatologist is in order.  This was further confirmed by X-Rays of my hands recently that showed no arthritis in them and yet, they feel and act like I have arthritis.  I also have issues with my body interpreting being cold as being in pain.  The gabapentin seems to have helped that.  My inflammation levels fluctuate a bit, sometimes they get high, but usually they are just above the normal range… So I don’t have a clue what’s going on and the gabapentin helping those pains is strange.
  • The only time Tramadol actually relieves my pain is when I mix it with gabapentin.  I don’t know exactly what the interaction between those two drugs are, but together, I can be completely pain free for a few hours.  The gabapentin also seems to reverse the side effects of the Tramadol.  Since it is a mild narcotic that also works by adjusting serotonin levels, I have some problems taking it (mainly I lose the ability to sleep when my serotonin levels are messed with – this is why my anxiety is treated with benzodiazepines and not antidepressants).  Taking the two together, makes me pain free and sleepy, which is something I desperately need right now.  Before the injections, I wasn’t sleeping because of the pain in my legs.  Now the pain in my legs is calm enough for me to sleep, but the injection sites are keeping me awake.
  • I am still in the accepting phase.  The injections are here for the long haul.  I’m going to continue to need them for a long time.  My other option is cutting nerves and that doesn’t sound fun to me.  I’m hopeful that in the future, I will learn to deal with them.  I have some pretty strong determination in that department.  However, when they wear off and the pain comes back, I also find myself depressed and wondering how long I can take it.  I knew I was going to have arthritis pain in my hips and the pseudo-arthritic condition in my hands.  I did not expect the chronic pain that I now have in my legs or the rest of my body.  I am looking forward to being able to take Lola the Destroyer back to the park for walks again.  I miss those.  It’s bonding time for us and she enjoys it and as long as the injections are working, it doesn’t cause me more pain.  It actually lifts my mood tremendously.
  • Finally, this means I haven’t been working as much as I’d like.  I need about 10 chapters on Flawless Dreams and this week has mostly been a bust in the writing department.  I’m hoping by Friday the injection sites are no longer bothering me and I can actually sit down long enough to write and stay focused.

Ok, so that’s me this week.  I just have to remind myself that it gets better… the leg pain is minimal and the injection sites will heal soon.

The Power of Amazing

I buy Jamberry, LuLaRoe, and Thirty-One.  Mostly because I love their stuff… but also because having a consultant that takes the time to deal with makes me feel amazing!  First, let me dispel a few myths…

  • It’s not a pyramid scheme.  Yes, you get people to sign up under you and you do take a percentage of what they make, but you don’t have to have anyone under you to make money and you aren’t being paid the initial investment fee of everyone under you.
  • The percentage taken by senior consultants from their junior consultants isn’t that much.
  • When you buy from a consultant’s stock, they keep any profit (usually about 30%).  If you buy from your consultant through their webstore, they make about 30%.
  • Most traditionally published authors give 80% or more of their sales to their publishers, advertisers, and agents…
  • Being a consultant is not just about pushing sales… It requires them to listen to their customers.

Ok, so that’s out of the way.  Let’s talk about the interaction that I get from my consultants.  My consultants ensure a few things happen without me asking:

  • They keep me update on new items or patterns.
  • They keep me update on specials and sales.
  • They keep me in the loop when something new is happening.

For me specifically, I need help when I shop.  I’m not a girly-girl and I can’t distinguish hues of colors.  This means anything with a pattern could essentially be a disaster and not at all what I think it is.  This is where my consultant steps in.  I can ask things like is that “purple or blue?” and “what exactly is that pattern because I’m not seeing it?”.

Furthermore, I can do this without anyone sighing at me or rolling their eyes.  Believe it or not, saleswomen in stores can get a little testy about this kind of crap.  I always try to shop with a friend, but sometimes a friend isn’t available.  I once went looking for black blouse.  I found one, it was on a rack full of colored blouses.  I asked the saleswoman just to be sure.  She confirmed it was black.  Got home, it was blue and absolutely did not go with my red and black skirt suit.  Manicurist are also not always the friendliest people on the planet.  I once asked for a manicure in purple, couldn’t tell what it was as she was applying it, but she told me it was purple… Dark red.  She just thought it would look better on me than purple and since I couldn’t really tell the color, she just went with it.

Finally, I like supporting women in business.  It sounds cliche, but I do.  I relate to them.  I technically own my own publishing house.  Knowing that I am helping other women who own their own businesses, makes me feel amazing.  Some of my consultants are stay at home moms.  Some are just trying to make some extra money.  All of them have the same goal: bettering their lives.

I admit that I have my dream job.  I get to sit around in my pajamas (or LuLaRoe leggings) and write books.  Being able to help my consultants achieve their dreams is a huge bonus.  Plus, whether it’s Amy, Trista, Sam, or Madison, I know exactly who I’m helping… They aren’t just women, they are my friends.

That is the power of amazing.


A Eureka! Moment?

I’ve been dealing with a migraine all week and it has varied from tolerable to making me worship the porcelain god.  Any time I have one like this, I start going through my migraine journal and I may have had a eureka moment…

Let me start by saying, I was born with my hips out of socket, both of them.  They discovered it and put them back in when I was six weeks old.  This hasn’t been a huge thing in my life.  I have arthritis in both hip joints, but it’s not bad enough for me to really notice it unless something out of the ordinary happens and then it’s just a hitch in my step.

Two year ago, when I started having problems with pain in my legs and went through the whole what the hell is wrong with me ordeal, I still didn’t think much about my hips as a baby.  Even when it turned out to be an issue with my SI joints and the nerves that run through them, I just sort of chalked it up to one of those things.  The doctor told me that my SI joints were mildly deformed, probably the result of having been born with my hips out of socket and that this was stressing the nerves running into my lower legs.

We put in nerve-blockers in November.  They wore off in the middle of March.  Not as long as we would have liked for them to last, but not surprising either.  I was told I would probably have to build up to getting a year or so of pain management out of the injections.

Now, back to the possible eureka moment.  Since getting the nerve-blockers, my migraines have seriously decreased… Far more than they did with the Botox.  And the few I had were easily manageable with a medication called Butalbital/Acetaminophen.  Butalbital is a barbiturate, barbiturates depress the central nervous system, meaning the nerves and neurons that make up the central nervous system fire fewer signals.

Which got me wondering… Is it possible that the deformation of my SI Joints, which is the area where my pelvis meets my spine, is putting pressure not just on the nerves that run into my lower legs, but possibly nerves that run up my spine or my spine itself?  If so, is it then also possible that this is the source of the majority of my migraines?

Could nerve blockers in my lower back really be the best treatment for my migraines?  It’s nearly unthinkable!  It’s just so… mind-boggling.  The deformity is very minor, a tilt of the pelvis that pushes my SI joints into a slightly different position and made them narrower than what they should be… something so insignificant that it has never been mentioned on any of the numerous X-Rays, CT Scans, or MRIs that I’ve had done.  I mean, I’ve been told my pelvis is tilted as a result of my hips being out of socket, but lots of people have a tilted pelvis for no reason at all and don’t have migraines.

And if so, what does that mean for my triggers?  Perhaps the pressure on the nerves or spine that causes my migraines somehow make my central nervous system more sensitive to normal migraine triggers – light, smells, noise, these have always been my biggest three triggers.  Is it because my central nervous system is already in overload because my SI joints and pelvis are somehow irritating it?

It is something I will have to discuss with a doctor, possibly my pain management doctor as well as my primary care physician and when/if I get a new neurologist them too… Then maybe it’s time to see a rheumotologist about it.  I have arthritis in my SI Joints as well as my hips.  Again, it’s mild and doesn’t seem to bother me, but it could be another factor that would explain why my migraines have gotten so much worse as I have gotten older.

Wow… Just wow…

When It’s Done

Yesterday, I had a long discussion about achievements with my BFF.  I will immediately point out that any discussion between her and I; whether it be important or nonsense, is treated the same.  We are the kind of people that can have deep, meaningful conversations about the strangest things.

This means that when we do discuss matters of importance, it is a bit of a information dump.  We both work in fields dominated by men – she’s in computer security and my books have been classified as horror by just about every major advertising company I’ve used as well as some of my readers.

The subject of achievements came up.  We realized rather quickly that what women consider achievements are much different than what most men consider achievements.  Let me provide you with examples from both of our jobs:

  • She fills out a daily report with her accomplishments, areas that need improvement, daily tasks, etc.  One day, she had zero accomplishments, because everything she had accomplished was essentially her job, so they went under daily tasks.  To me, that makes sense.  Her boss was concerned however, because the male assessment forms listed multiple achievements for each day.  Upon closer inspection, it was basically a checklist for getting their daily tasks accomplished.  To me, completing daily tasks is not an achievement, it’s a job requirement.
  • It’s fairly rare for me to post a daily word count.  Word counts aren’t really achievements for me, they are the daily tasks of my job.  Then I remembered several weeks ago that a male writer friend of mine had in fact done a blog post about his accomplishment of writing 10,000 words in a single day.  Which is good, but that’s about my average when I’m really engrossed in what I’m writing, so to me, that didn’t feel like much of an achievement.  It felt like a daily task… You have to add words every day (and delete them) to move a book along if you’re the author.

So what did we qualify as achievements became our next topic.

  • For her it was the big stuff; passing a SANS certification, being asked to do a web demonstration on her ultra-cool crimeware detection tools, completing projects, etc.  Nothing that is ordinary, everyday stuff.
  • For me, achievements are getting the cover art done, sending a book to the editor, finalizing it for print, and publishing it.  Everything else, I just consider part of the job. I sat down one day and wrote 17,000 words.  I got a lot done, but it didn’t feel all that important.  In other words, I wouldn’t consider it an achievement.  I did break my previous record for most words in a single day, but even that doesn’t feel like an achievement.

I’m sure there is a psychology behind it, but I’m less certain what exactly it is.  Do women just not feel they should take credit for doing their daily job?  Or for some reason, do women devalue achievements that men value?  I don’t know.  Someone should study it in depth.

Not me, I have been a busy bee and I have an achievement to share.  Triggered Reality is completely done… all the editing, all the beta reading, all the uploading to different sites, all the checking and double checking that I didn’t screw something up in the formatting, etc.  It’s finished and ready to be read by the masses or at least the people that like/love the Dreams novels.

I’ll take the next few days to clear it from my mind and then I’ll get back into Flawless Dreams.  Still expecting a May release date for it.  It is surprisingly on schedule.


Things I Couldn’t Make Up if I Tried…

On occasion, the universe throws me something so bizarre, I have no idea what to do with it.  It’s at these moments that no matter how creative I get, there are just some things I would never think up.  Here’s a short list:

  • There are geese in the park where I walk Lola the Destroyer.  Every once in a while during our walk, she will grab a mouthful of acorns, take them as close to the geese as I will allow her to get, and drop the acorns for the geese.  I haven’t a clue why. *Sidenote: the geese are not afraid of her and the closest I will let her get is about 15 feet because if they attack her, they are going to come after me as well.
  • I saw a woman dressed in a clown suit filling her cart with nothing but cases of beer and lots of cans of Redi-Whip at my local grocery store.  It was not October.
  • While shopping for my wedding dress, I overheard another bride-to-be explaining to the poofy dress picker outer from the store that she was two months pregnant and was due the same month as the wedding.  The dress lady kept trying to explain that she might want to wait to buy the dress and the bride-to-be just kept responding with it wasn’t a big deal, she’d have the baby a week or two early so she could fit back into the dress at her pre-pregnancy weight.
  • Stopped at a stop light one time and noticed that there were two women in the car next to me.  The passenger was applying makeup to the driver and also trying to style the driver’s hair.
  • When iPod came out with their broadcast your iTunes library to your radio by tuning into an unused radio channel, I was using my all the time, because I had a 30 minute commute to work and a 30 minute commute home, depending on traffic.  I’m listening to music as I go down the road and suddenly, my music is interrupted by talking.  Someone was listening to an erotica audiobook on the exact same station and for about 20 seconds, all I could hear was their intimate descriptions of thrusting.
  • I had a boss that threw a tantrum about something.  I’m sure it was trivial, but he was still kicking his desk every once in a while as if he were scoring the FIFA World Cup winning goal.  As he fumed, surprisingly not at me, I warned him that if he kicked his desk again, he’d probably break a toe.  To prove me wrong, he kicked his desk again.  I was wrong, he didn’t break a toe… He broke his desk.  The side collapsed and everything went tumbling onto the floor.  The computer monitor fell on his foot and broke it though.
  • Same boss, different day.  We get into a serious argument in his office.  The door is closed.  They can hear us shouting at each other halfway across the building. He’s swearing at me in a foreign language, which I had learned a few key words and phrases from.  I’m swearing back at him in English and threatening to quit.  We were forced to do “Couples Anger Management therapy” for 8 weeks.  When the therapist asked what we were arguing about, we both had to admit it was because we couldn’t agree on where to get take-out from.  We were working on a huge project and spent 12-15 hours a day, 6 and sometimes 7 days a week, together.  Working through lunch and dinner had become part of our routine and we regularly ordered out because neither of us could remember to bring our lunch.
  • In high school, I watched a girl shove the end of a paperclip through her nose because her mother refused to sign off on her getting a septum piercing.  She was two months away from being 18, when she could have legally gotten it sans paperclip.
  • Riding in the bed of a truck, it’s late, I’m with some friends.  One of them decides to steal the road poles.  These are orange flexible poles standing a couple of feet high that they put on roads to keep people from merging into lanes or crossing the centerline.  He reaches out, grabs one, and is promptly yanked from the bed of the truck.  His only injury is a dislocated shoulder and some scratches.  He failed to realize they were bolted into road.  This story should actually start with “Here, hold my beer” because he had been drinking, he just wasn’t drinking as we were riding down the road.
  • Finally, my SO and I were driving down the road one afternoon near Mark Twain Lake.  A male peacock crosses the road in front of us.  Near that same spot about a decade and a half earlier, I saw an orangutan cross the road.  Neither are native to Missouri.

Attacked in the Dark

I’ve had a terrible cold all week.  My face hurts from the sinus congestion.  I went to the doctor who gave me a steroid injection and told me to live on a decongestants, which has made me a little bit of a zombie and it works better during the day.  Come night time, the sinus headache and face pain get really bad, so I haven’t been sleeping at night.  I have been going to bed around 5 am and getting up around noon or 1 pm.  That’s why no one has heard from me.  However, it has lead to a very funny story…

Last night/this morning, around 3:30 am, Lola the Destroyer got up and really needed to go outside to pee.  So I put her on her leash, bundled up, even though it had warmed up to a balmy 48 degrees, and we headed outside.  I didn’t take a flashlight, my stun gun was on, but it was actually on – meaning not in flashlight mode, but stun gun mode, and my cell phone was in my pocket.  I live in a lower middle class area of town.  Crime isn’t bad, but we’ve had problems with teens breaking into cars.  Especially in the wee hours of the morning.

We get to the backyard.  It’s much darker in this part of the yard, but it doesn’t bother me to be in the dark at any time of the night.  I just don’t spook easily and I’m good in a crisis/dangerous situation.  Lola squats.  I’m kinda looking around.  I catch movement out of the corner of my eye.  Turn my head and something lands next to Lola.  Lola jumps, literally jumps, straight up into the air.  She is freaking out.  I can only see a large dark shadow.  I’m thinking large owl or hawk has landed two feet from her.

Lola is a medium sized dog.  She’s sixty pounds, most of it muscle, and she has long teeth.  She can handle herself.  However, a large owl or hawk could inflict some damage.  Plus, there’s a conservation area just south of Columbia about three miles where Bald Eagles are making a comeback.  Now, if you have ever seen a Bald Eagle up close, they are large enough to eat my dog.

The dark shadow is fairly good sized and it scoots a couple of inches.  So I’m digging for my cell phone for the flashlight while trying to get it to fly away.  I move up on it, stun gun at the ready.

It’s a friggin’ box.  It has been tremendously windy with this warm front coming through (it was 8 on Saturday, 60 this morning, and we are expecting an ice storm on Friday).  Windy enough that it picked up a large cardboard box from somewhere, flew it through the air – above the level of my head, and managed to plop it down right next to Lola the Destroyer.

Needless to say, it took a little while to get Lola calmed down.  And I had to chide myself on nearly stun gunning a box.

And I Do That How Exactly?

Day 2 of physical therapy and I was given a new exercise.  I am supposed to flex and hold my transversus abdominis for 5 seconds.  It sounds all well and good.  You flex and hold, release, flex and hold, release.  That’s the theory of it anyway.

I’m finding the execution to be problematic.

First, this is the muscle that runs from hip to hip on the front of your body in your lower abdomen.

Second, this is not a muscle we think about… ever.

Third, consciously trying to flex it is a little bit like using the force.

I may have gotten it a few times, but mostly, I flexed my obliques, the muscles in my butt, back, and everything except the transversus abdominis.  At one point, I even managed to flex the muscles in my shoulder blades trying to get this specific muscle to flex.  No, my shoulder blades are nowhere near my front abdomen at hip level, but that’s what happened anyway.

I was told that if I  was having trouble to try lying face down or on my knees, because this makes it easier.

It, in fact, was not easier.  I just found myself flexing different muscles, like my hamstrings and the quadriceps.  I even managed to stop breathing for a few seconds when I flexed really hard and my diaphragm refused to inflate because the muscles were taut.  I’ve always been a diaphragm breather, so that was rather alarming for a moment.  If multiple stints in physical therapy has taught me anything, it’s that not everyone in the world uses their diaphragm to breathe, they use a different muscle.  I don’t remember what it’s called, I just know that it was explained to me when I was in junior high and had done something stupid to my muscles in my chest.  I still don’t understand it because I still don’t understand how people breathe without using their diaphragm.

I’ve had a few moments where I wondered if I actually had this particular muscle.  Then suddenly it will flex and I won’t know how or why, I just know that I have proof that it exists… but I can’t repeat on command.

The cortisone shot I received on Thursday is working. I was a little sore after doing all my exercises, but I didn’t feel the need to cry, scream, swear loudly and uncontrollably, or start hacking bits off myself.  Also, my life is ruled by the law of unintended consequences.  Yesterday evening, I found that I was mostly pain free thanks to the cortisone and oxycodone and that I was suddenly ravenously hungry.  But this was past dinner time, it was actually about midnight.  Eating at such a late hour would mean impeding my sleep.  But my stomach growling was doing much the same thing.  Decisions, decisions… Which is why I’m writing a blog post at 2:36 am that won’t post until 9ish.  I gave in at 12:30 and had a snack.  I need about 2 to 3 hours after eating before I go lay down or I will suffer heartburn that mimics a heart attack, even with antacids.

But at least I was finally very hungry and I have a feeling, I’m going to sleep just fine tonight.  It’s been awhile since I got a good night’s sleep.

PS: Transversus abdominis sounds like a dinosaur.


Do All Doctors Think The Worst?

So, I had a nerve test this morning.  Some hypersensitivity in the nerves of my right leg, not a huge issue, but a small one and it might explain why my pain is so intense.

The final conclusion after all of this is:

  • One bulging disc, but it’s minor.
  • One degenerating disc, not as minor
  • Strain of the lumbar ligaments
  • Tearing of the lumbar fascia
  • Strain of the right lumbosacral spine
  • Nerve hypersensitivity in back, SI Joints, and right leg – most likely a neurological problem (also explains why my brain interprets cold as pain)

Some of this needs to be treated with physical therapy and some of it needs to be treated with injections of cortisone.  Okay.  I can live with that…

What I can’t live with is the interim.  I sleep less than 5 hours a night due to pain.  Most nights, it’s less than 4 hours.  I feel nauseated half the time possibly because I have a constant headache that is always bordering on a migraine.

I’m having a really hard time focusing to work.  I have trouble driving.  I have trouble doing household chores.  Most days, I just want to cry because of the pain.

Then I’m depressed because I can’t do much.  However, he doesn’t want to treat the pain that is making me miserable because over the next 6 weeks, it will get better thanks to physical therapy.

What the fuck kind of decision is that?!  If a patient is in your office, crying because they can’t hardly function due to pain, and your decision is to not treat the immediate problem to improve quality of life… Should you really be a doctor?

This is kinda like the Tramadol argument we had.  He prescribed 50mg Tramadol.  I told him it didn’t help and I take 100mg of Sumatriptan when I have a migraine, which I can’t take if I’m on Tramadol.  Yet, he refused to prescribe anything but 50mg Tramadol.  I also informed him that Tramadol was one of the few drugs that gave me rebound migraines… Still wouldn’t prescribe anything but 50mg Tramadol.

I have a few Ketorolac tablets (Toradol in pill form).  They tear my stomach up, even with food, but they do relieve some of the pain (from a 10 to about a 9), which is more than Tramadol or Tylenol does… So, I’m guessing I will take one of those after lunch today and see if I can finish my goddamn laundry.

I know people that get hundreds of oxycodone tablets a month for things like migraines and fucking TMJ (which I have a severe case of), yet I can’t get a prescription to last me a week for back pain that is so bad, I can’t work or ride in a car and driving is a special form of torture…

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