Confessions of a Writer

  • Sometimes when I can’t think of anything to write about, I end up reading lists on places like Ranker and Diply for hours.
  • I’m too wordy for Twitter… I can barely say “Hi” in 140 characters.
  • I hate writing in complete sentences.
  • I insert commas randomly, for no reason, despite the fact that I do know how to properly use them.  My editors and proofers find it weird.  Commas are the most common grammatical error in my books.
  • I hate using modern slang and still use words like “nifty,” “spiffy,” and “cool.”  I’m not even sure I know what half of modern slang means… I’m still baffled by “ratchet,” “catfish,” and “turnt.”
  • My browser history would convince anyone that I was a serial killer in the making.
  • My book reading preferences are weird to say the least; because smashed between Mysteries of the Unexplained and 50 Serial Killers You’ve Never Heard Of are books like Practical Magic, Good Omens, and The Stand.
  • Only two horror stories have ever disturbed my sleep – The Shining by Stephen King and The Rats by HP Lovecraft.  Lovecraft inspired me to write on the darker stuff.  While the topiary scene in The Shining gave me a few nightmares and a small phobia of topiary, Lovecraft’s The Rats actually made me an insomniac for several weeks and just thinking about it before bed can give me nightmares.
  • I do not scare easily or often, especially with movies… However, I watched Quicksilver Highway when I was in my mid-teens with my mom and there is a scene with a detached hand moving about that made me jump and shout “Get the fucking hand!” I don’t know whether my mom was in shock, trying not to laugh, or what, but she surprisingly did not grab the dish soap, because the F-word is an offense worthy of having your mouth washed out in my house.  Even as an adult, she occasionally threatens to wash my mouth out.  For the record, Dawn does not taste good, but it leaves an impression.
  • My mom, my Maid of Honor, and my Matron of Honor are the only people growing up that never told me I needed to think about a real career when I told people I wanted to be a novelist.
  • Before finding a career in writing; I wanted to be an archaeologist, a historian, an anthropologist, a folklorist, a chemist, and hold a Ph.D. in one of those fields.  Unfortunately for me, I hated going to classes even in college… so I only managed a bachelor’s degree, but I still love to learn.
  • As a kid, I would read encyclopedias.
  • I hold a degree in history, however, I had enough electives in English, German, Russian, psychology, and chemistry to have declared either majors or minors in those subjects as well.
  • My college freshman English teacher actually held me after class one day to ask why I was in his class.  When I told him it was required, he informed me I should have tested out of it.  He then told me I could no longer do peer reviews because I was making the other students cry and gave my name to the university as a tutor in English.
  • I love to cook.  I do not find it relaxing or soothing.  I find it to be hard work and demanding of attention (not something I’m always good at).  However, I love it all the same and have considered taking adult education classes where they teach you to cook different ethnic foods.  I don’t take them because I’m afraid I will make something that I despise.
  • I can’t stand the taste of nutmeg.  Everyone says it is similar in taste to cinnamon, but I don’t get a cinnamony taste from it.  To me, it is very bitter.  I have the same problem with ginger, curry, and wasabi.
  • I panic when I meet famous people.  I have had several opportunities to meet Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM, but have never been able to muster the courage to do it.  It is so bad, that when KMFDM came through town specifically to sign autographs, I made my friend take the CD I wanted signed up to him while I loitered in the background refusing to remove my sunglasses inside a building.  I know I looked creepy and strange, but I just couldn’t do it.  Later that night, at their concert, they were having a drink in the bar while the opening band was playing.  I had taken one of the nephew’s to the show and he wanted an autograph from Lucia.  My cousin had to escort him over there because I tried and failed… Pretty sure I had cod mouth.
  • In my late teens and early twenties, I was a part time roadie for a small indie band.  I had a lot of fun, even though I didn’t care for their music.  Most of my “life stories” come from this period of my life.
  • I was never wild and crazy.  The closest I came was hanging out in a bar while underage, drinking soda, because I was a roadie.
  • I know how to properly wear a corset, which is a dying art, and do so from time to time because I find them comfortable.  I have been known to lounge around my house in a corset and pajama pants.
  • I am still in awe of the fact that I write books for a living.  Not only did I think it would never happen, but I always figured I’d be one of those authors that wrote books, published books, and still had to have a full time job because the average traditionally published author makes $30,000 a year (where I live, that doesn’t go very far).
  • Finally, I’m not in control of my creativity.  My life influences it a great deal, like it did in 2016, but sometimes, even without the distractions, it just doesn’t happen.  I can stare at a blank screen for hours and write nothing or I might write 10,000 words.  For the most part, creativity controls me and I have to work my life around it.  Which is why I am up late most nights, my creativity centers seem to function better after the sun has gone down.
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1 Comment

  1. teresa

     /  February 13, 2017

    so the cops would have to search your computer for evidece… Try an 83 yr old diaperd Dad that has been peeing blood clots but not te;;ing.. so you go to hotel for wake up so you can make sure he catches flight.. The room looked like a mafia hit squad..for some really dumb reason I have bloody sheets pillows and comforter in the back of my pick up and making arrangements to have the room steamed cleaned.. If I had been stopped guns would have been drawn ans questions of where is the body would be all they would ask,.. true story cleaned em nup since hotel was tossing after a couple bleach runs then ran thru dye to change the color and pink tonred sheets fine,,,

    Liked by 1 person


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