So, it recently dawned on me that on my wedding day, I’m going to be the center of attention – myself and my SO.
I’m one of those weird people that went into a profession where being the center of attention is considered a good thing. And I hate it. I blush when people tell me they liked my books. I blush when people mention my books. I also start talking very fast when it comes up. It’s to stave off the panic attack and hyperventilating that may start if I take a moment to breathe.
Up until Monday, I was stressed out about normal stuff – cakes, dresses, falling on my face, forgetting where I’m supposed to stand, my minister passing out, the best man throwing up on the groom, running out of food at the reception or having enough to feed a small village in Ethiopia that is left over… You know… Normal stuff.
Now, thanks to a friend (you’re so wonderful Amy), I get to think about the fact that my SO and I are going to be standing in front of 45 people exchanging vows and then going to a huge party – and people have already started asking me about things like Dollar Dances and garter throwing and bouquet tossing and are we going to meet your family – where we are still the center of attention.
There is no way to melt into the background of your own wedding and reception. This freaks me out in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Up until that moment, I was having some nightmares. Now, I’m having lots of them.
As outgoing as I seem, I’m actually really shy, even around my family. I can talk to them for a short time, but I always feel like a freak if it goes beyond pleasantries. It’s much easier to be outgoing when I can hide behind my computer screen.
Here’s to hoping I don’t trip on a thick patch of air and break my nose in front of all those people wearing an ivory (white) dress…
In other news, Triggered Reality will release in March! And I have the cover. I also have another cover in the works that I will be revealing as soon as the final version gets sent to me.