It’s been a little while since I blogged, but I’ve been very busy trying to write. So, here’s another round of Stupid Things I Get Asked:
Do you write your books on post-it notes? – No. I don’t even plot with Post-It notes, it would be impossible to write an entire book on them.
I’m confused. I thought Aislinn Cain died in Butchered Dreams, so how are there more books? – I have just become as confused as them… Where does Aislinn die in Butchered Dreams?
Do you ever worry that putting all your ideas into books will make you forgetful? – Um, what?
You know gay marriage is legal in Missouri now, right? – Yep, but I’m not entirely sure why you are pointing this out to me.
If I write a book about the end of the world and it happens, am I liable? – What exactly are the chances that the world will end because it gets taken over by werewolves? Also, if it does happen, I think we will all be too busy running from the werewolves to take you to court over it. (Now, insert Wisconsin joke here)
Do I need to put a period after every sentence? – As opposed to what, exactly? I’m pretty sure the rule is every sentence that doesn’t end in ? or ! requires a period.
Congrats! I heard you sold 20 books. You know, I’ve sold about 700. Did they buy all your series? – That was 20 books on B&N in one day (B&N customers seem to hate me).
Thanks for the suggestion, I’m going to contact your proofer, Pen Smith. I hope he’s really good. Does he mind reading romance? – My proofer is a lady… and her name is Krissy, not Pen. And I had already told the writer 5 times that SHE did proof romance and sent her to her webpage.
I tried to contact your cover artist, but she lives in Canada and I don’t think I can hire a Canadian. Isn’t that the same as hiring an illegal alien? – I’m fairly certain Angela with Covered Creatively is in Canada legally.
I have a job, can I still write a book or will that get me in trouble? – Trouble with who?
I just finished all The Dysfunctional Chronicles and I really liked them, but I don’t understand why all your books are so violent. Did you grow up in a war zone or have PTSD? – Well, I don’t consider Missouri a war zone and my experience with traumatic events is limited, so I don’t think I have PTSD. Can’t a lady just like a little violence?
I loved all the Dreams and Reality books, are you going to write more of them? Nadine Daniels is awesome and I love her Great Danes. Also, I’d like to read more of The Black Dagger Brotherhood, Aislinn Cain is great. – I think you are very confused about my books as well as the books by J.R. Ward.
You talk a lot about the plague, but I’ve never heard of it. What’s the plague? Do you think that is going to be the start of the apocalypse? – Uh…
Why don’t you write a book about a guy travels the world in a crop duster that inseminates people with alien babies? – Why don’t you write it?
A Long One:
Them: I’m done with my book. I was hoping you’d say it was okay to send it to you. I know you like horror and I wrote a book about a woman who gets trapped in a mirror and has to get out.
Me: Do you want me to beta read it?
Them: Oh no, nothing like that. I need it edited, I need a cover, I need someone to put it up on all the sites.
Me: Okay, you want me to act as a publisher?
Them: Yes! I figure about $200 should cover all your costs plus give you some extra.
Me: The cover alone is going to cost $150. Editing is going to be about $600. Then it will need a proofer and that’s going to cost you based on how many words it is. If you want it formatted for all the sites, that’s going to be close to $100. So, I’ll give you all the contact information for the people I use, but I’m not going to act like a publisher, especially not for a $100.
Them: Well, I know it will be a bestseller, so I’m going to send it to you anyway. You can read and decide if want to help me or not.
Me (six days later): I read your book. It’s six thousand words long and the main character changes her name 10 times. Also, you never explained why she got trapped in a mirror or how she got out. In the first few lines, she was sucked in like Alice and then in the last paragraph she was tossed out like Alice. I think it needs some serious work.
Them: You aren’t very helpful and I don’t know why you are being so mean. Every friend who read it said it was great. I’ll go talk to someone else.