I’ve mentioned before that I occasionally just shake my head at the things that people do. Here’s another installment of things I’ve ran across in the last couple of months:
- I had Lola the Destroyer at the vet to get her incredibly fast growing nails clipped – which I refuse to do because I don’t need that kind of horror in my life. As I waited, a woman and her dog walked out of one of the patient rooms. The dog looked like it had been run down by a steamroller. He was mostly skin and bones and while he seemed happy enough, he didn’t seem to be in good health. Then I realized the vet was lecturing the woman on the dog’s diet. It seemed that the owner was a vegan and she had her dog on a vegan diet, an all natural vegan diet and she was preparing both her and the dog’s meals. As the vet explained that dogs did eat vegetables and they were good for them, they also needed protein, usually achieved by eating meat, and other vitamins and minerals they couldn’t get from vegetables, like we could. Sadly, I don’t know if it ever clicked with the owner that dogs are usually healthier if they are omnivores.
- I was standing outside my car, completely by myself, minding my own business, waiting on someone. I was also smoking a cigarette. Yes, I know, I shouldn’t smoke. However, a woman walked over to me and began to lecture me on how much I was polluting the air with my cigarette. She continued her diatribe about the evils of smoking and its contribution to pollution, the melting of the ice caps, the destruction of the ozone, and the death of our unborn children for a few minutes before walking away in disgust. I couldn’t help but watch. She got into a 1990s Suburban and lit up a joint.
- I was asked to look over a book blurb for a writer I know. I read it, three times, because the blurb didn’t match what the writer said the book was about. So, after the third time, I emailed the writer and asked for more information about the book, because I was having problems figuring out what the blurb had to do with the book. I was informed that the blurb was just to draw people in, it really didn’t describe their book, but it sounded better than pointing out that it was a love story. I crafted a different blurb and got a curt reply telling me “thanks, but that didn’t really fit the audience the writer was marketing to and they would stick with the blurb they wrote.” I responded that I felt this might lead to lots of negative reviews and was told the writer “didn’t really care what it did to reviews, they had done it before and were selling pretty well on Amazon.” So I asked how many returns they averaged a month… almost none… That made me wonder about the reviews it was getting. It has a 1.8 star rating and most of the reviews say they don’t understand what the blurb has to do with the book. I had to get more clarification, because they couldn’t be selling that well, right? They aren’t. They get Kindle Unlimited borrows and just rely on people reading enough of the book for them to get paid something.
- After blogging about my experience with fentanyl, someone sent me a message offering to sell me fentanyl….
- While blogging about my Asus dying, someone sent me a message offering to sell me a laptop they were “pretty sure was stolen”. (Why either of these people think I would be willing to participate in illegal activities is beyond me)
- I received a private message regarding Elysium Dreams telling me they loved the book, but they didn’t understand why there had to be so much killing in it. They recommended I re-write it and instead of having a killer, I have the person be a serial baker that randomly leaves cakes at people’s doors before they get up with happy notes written on them. So I asked if they intended to read book 3… seemed like a valid question and suggested they try a different series by an author I know that isn’t about serial killers. They told me they totally intended to read Mercurial Dreams, they just hoped fewer people died in it and that I would consider their suggestion to give the books a lighter feel. The same person sent me a message much later telling me that The Dysfunctional Affair didn’t work for them because the mob guy didn’t die.
- However, my most recent favorite: Someone contacted me about a book they had written. They wanted me to read it. I told them I couldn’t because I needed to write my own books, I was behind schedule. They told me it was no big deal, they weren’t going to publish until 2017, as long as I finished it by December. I can get one book read between now and December, so I agreed. I got the book and put it in a file folder I keep for that kind of stuff. Two days later, I got a message asking me if I had finished it yet. I explained I hadn’t even started, I was dealing with health issues and was behind on my own books. They said ok, take my time. The following day, they sent me an irate message about how I wasn’t taking their work seriously and I couldn’t be that behind on my own work since I hadn’t published a single book. I pointed out that I had published several books actually and sent them to my Amazon page. They responded with “That’s not what an editor does”… So, I pointed out that I was a writer, not an editor and they told me that was impossible because a writer wouldn’t have written that many books in a lifetime, let alone just a couple of years and she was going to email Krissy, Eliza, and Frankie to let them know I was taking credit for their books (these are the editors I have given credit to on my books, not the other way around).