Fentanyl – 1, Hadena – 0

Friday afternoon, I was feeling pretty good after the injections the day before and decided I could accompany my SO to the campground, as long as I didn’t do much once I got there.  I mean, what’s the difference between sitting on my couch here and sitting in a camping chair there?

I didn’t realize the car ride was going to be an issue.  I spent about an hour and a half as the passenger, heading up there.  When we finally arrived, I was in some pain.  By 8:30 Friday night my life was well beyond pain.  I was disoriented, blacking out, my feet were tingly, I had a stabbing pain at the base of my skull (not a migraine, more like an ice pick), and I couldn’t hardly walk.

My SO loaded me into the car and we drove to the ER in Hannibal, Missouri.  Where I was given a fentanyl shot, a bag of fluids, had about a pint of blood drawn, and told I over did it.  Once the shot kicked in and the pain in my back subsided, all my other symptoms went away.  It was like a miracle cure that made me very sleepy.  Since there are no 24 hour pharmacies in Hannibal or the surrounding areas, the ER slapped on a fentanyl patch to get me through the 72 hours following my visit.

I awoke on Saturday feeling like shit.  The narcotics were still coursing through my veins, because they were still being absorbed by my skin, but I figured some food and some sleep would help.  Only, they didn’t.  I had trouble sleeping on fentanyl.  Crazy dreams coupled with not really falling into a deep sleep made me feel even worse.  Around 2, we gave up and started home… That’s when I remembered why I have such a high pain tolerance.

I can handle narcotics up to a point and that point is 20mgs of Percocet with a nap.  Anything stronger and it had better be a one-off.  Give me an oxymorphine pill for example and I’ll gladly show you everything I ate in the 24 hours previous.  It turns out that slapping on a fentanyl patch is a whole lot worse.

On the drive home, my SO kept having to pull over so I could empty the contents of my stomach.  It took us a little extra time because of it.  Once I did make it home, all I could think about was my bed, which I curled into and slept for a couple of hours.  I was awoken for dinner, ate, and then I had them take the fentanyl patch off… I’d rather be in pain than vomit.  But I hadn’t gotten to it in time.

My dinner was a no go.  I had a few bites and then I went back to bed feeling nauseated and wanting to cry.  When I got up again sometime around 9 pm, I realized I had only urinated once all day and that was my only real thought before my stomach decided it couldn’t hold down my dinner after all.  My bedroom seemed too far away, so I curled up on the couch and went back to sleep.

At five am, I woke up with my stomach giving a small growl.  I got up, got some peanut butter and ate it.  I drank some fluid, including finishing off a bottle of not so cold Gatorade and a cold soda.  Managed to keep the peanut butter and fluids down.  And now I’m headed back to bed for some more sleep.

However, the fentanyl left me with a headache the size of Rhode Island.  My back pain has returned and I see some serious couch sitting in my future today.  And the next time someone wants to slap on a fentanyl patch, I’ll polite decline and tell them I’d rather be in pain.

Leave a comment


  1. Christina Eidelberg

     /  August 28, 2016

    What a nightmare! Pain meds are supposed to alleviate your pain. Are you sensitive to other medications too?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have some issues with NSAIDS, antidepressants, and ciprofloxacin. I have very low narcotic tolerance and narcotics stronger than Percocet make me sleep. Last time I had to get two morphine shots, I slept for 18 hours without waking up.


  2. Cathy Bergen

     /  August 30, 2016

    I am beyond stunned. Where did you say that this ER is located? What? A different country? A passport and a lengthy drive? Damn.

    Ah, yes. Please accept my apology, I truly am planning to comment on your post in a coherent and relevant fashion. Promise. Here goes….

    When you were admitted, I would have felt safe assuming that SOMEBODY (who’s job DIDN’T include ensuring that the restrooms have an adequate supply of toilet paper and hand soap) actually took your medical history prior to injecting you with fentanyl, except for two things. The fact that you were actually given a shot of Fentanyl, and that you left the hospital WEARING a fentanyl patch. I’m a perfect stranger in a different country (who does happen to be a huge fan of your writing, but still) just hanging out, reading your blog, and somehow I have managed to be aware that prior experience has taught you that 20 mg Oxycodone is the highest dose of any opioid painkiller that your body is able to handle with no more serious side effects beyond drowsiness and a need for a nap. I have suffered from chronic pain for more than thirty years, and the tendency of the medical profession in North America to demonize the appropriate medication of pain exceeding a week or so as addiction has led me to educate myself extensively with regards to opioid narcotic pain medicine. It seemed prudent in light of how often I have had to medicate myself via the prescription drug black market and straight up street drugs. My do-it-yourself pharmacological education, and aforementioned extensive personal experience, qualities me (in my own humble opinion) to advise you that you are extremely fortunate to still be alive. Do you know why you weren’t given Fentanyl pills? It’s because no pharmaceutical company manufactures them. Fentanyl is meant to be used for general anesthesia, and for end-stage palliative pain management. Injections, patches and something referred to as the, “Actiq,” lollipop, which is used for breakthrough pain. Any Fentanyl pills that you may have heard about on the news that law enforcement agencies have confiscated during drug busts, those have been made using stove top Fentanyl and a pill press. A Google search, the precursors and grade 12 chemistry, is all that’s required. I would be willing to bet that the initial shot that you received in the hospital had gravol mixed in with it to counteract the nausea that made you so miserable later on in connection with the patch. Whenever a non-opioid tolerant individual takes/injests an inappropriately high dose/amount of an opioid narcotic, said individual will vomit and feel terrifically nauseated, even while not actually vomiting or dry heaving, as the case may be. It matters not whether or not the drug in question is heroin or Fentanyl, or the supplier a hospital/pharmacy or a dial-a-dope runner – – the end result will be the same. No one should ever be prescribed Fentanyl who has not had to have been taking much, much more potent painkillers than Percocet — such as morphine, dilaudid, or talwin, for instance, for some time. (One 20 mg Percocet as a maximum. Jesus wept.) Did whoever the negligent f**k who sent you on your merry way wearing a Fentanyl patch, right after giving you a shot of same, at least inquire as to whether or not there was going to be someone available to keep an eye on you after you fell asleep? Because the effects of the doses of Fentanyl would be cumulative? You know, just to call 911 should you start to turn blue from cyanosis? As you don’t sound like the kind of folks who are too likely to have Naxalone handy for the occasional opioid overdose? Probably not, right? All of the symptoms that you mentioned (fractured sleep, hallucinogenic-like dreams, nausea, vomiting, suppressed need to urinate, feeling crappy overall, severe rebound headache) walk hand in glove with overdoing the narcotic dosage. It matters not one little bit what kind of dope, where you got the drugs, and if it was deliberate on your part. Fentanyl is pharmaceutical heroin, and dead is dead. I, for one, am outraged. You probably should consider lodging a formal complaint with the medical association or regulatory body in that state. I’m not normally one to be too, “pro rat,” but the next person might actually wind up dead.

    I am heartily happy that you are not dead, and not just because I’m dying to read the next, and all subsequent, Dreams and Reality books. (I binge-read the first eleven over the span of ten days.) You also seem like a really cool chick, who I would enjoy hanging out with. Oh, yeah, off topic – – why in Heaven’s name do you care about those stuck up female dart players and authors? Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. Plus, if they are anything like they sound, actually having to spend time with these people might just turn out to be a fate almost worse than dying from a Fentanyl overdose. Probably would be. Right? Right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was the first and last time I will let someone give me fentanyl. If my side effects were any indication, I do not have the tolerance for it. I lived and learned from the experience. It will probably end up in a D&R book since Aislinn does not do well on narcotics.


      • Cathy Bergen

         /  August 30, 2016

        I’m just glad that “Dr. Death,” there didn’t rob you of the rest of your life, the rest of us of the enjoyment of your stories, and of course, your friends and loved ones of YOU. God bless you, and you are on my prayer list for healing, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Rondal Johns

     /  August 30, 2016

    Hey, take care of yourself. Do not do anything except sit on the sofa or lay in bed until at least two days after you are absolutely, positively certain that you are ready to resume normal activities.

    Liked by 1 person


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