Not Trying To Ignore Anyone

So, I was accused of ignoring people this week.  I think I should explain, but I’m actually not trying to.  For about 11 months, I’ve been having trouble with pain in my legs.  It has been getting steadily worse as the months have progressed.  A few weeks ago, I came home from darts in so much pain that I sat on the couch and cried.  It was 4 a.m. before I got it under control enough to fall asleep and then I only slept about 3 hours.

I made a doctor’s appointment and last Friday, I went.  My doctor and I talked and with some help of a timeline, we thought the pain in my legs was most likely due to incomplete healing.  August 16, 2015 I reached for something and then couldn’t stand up.  I’ve had an injury to a nerve in my back that has bothered me for years.  It started when I was a kid and sometime in my twenties I tweaked it really bad and I’ve had problems with that nerve “catching” every so often, like it did that day.  I tried to follow doctor’s orders and rest, but there were still chores to be done like laundry, dishes, and vacuuming.  Not to mention the need to write books.  So, while I did rest, I probably didn’t rest as I should have and that meant my back didn’t heal completely.  It’s actually a sound theory.  Nerves in my lower back could indeed be causing the pain I feel in my lower legs.  My doctor set about getting me an appointment with an orthopedist that specialized in back stuff.

That following Saturday, I attended my nephew & niece’s wedding shower.  In theory, I could rest during it.  We brought camping chairs.  Unfortunately, we didn’t bring the right camping chairs.  Between sitting in those, sitting at a picnic table, and standing alternately as needed for six hours, I came home in a whole new level of pain.  Sunday night, I rolled over in bed and felt pain shoot down my legs from my back.  However, when I woke up Monday, I was sore, but not unbearably so.

Enter Jude the Great Nephew!  Monday my mother watched Jude for a few hours in the morning.  At one point, I reached into the bassinet to pick him up and that same pain shot from my lower back and down both legs.  And now I could feel the source of the pain, not just where it ended.  My lower spine became sore, it actually felt like I had busted my tailbone on concrete.  The area just above the coccyx was even more tender to the touch for the length of about three inches.  And there was a line of pain that went from my spine, across my lower back, into my hips and then down my legs.

I went to the ER because I couldn’t hardly move anything from my lower back down.  Even shuffling my feet hurt.  There I meet the only doctor I have ever sworn at.  He came in, grabbed my leg and hoisted it into the air as far as it would go.  He gave me no warning that he was going to do it and after I screamed, I asked what the hell his problem was.  He didn’t really answer, he just grabbed my other leg and did the same thing.  It also hurt and I found myself in more pain than when I had shambled into the place.  That was the extent of his testing and questions.  I even told him I had a tingly sensation in my legs and he just responded with you have a lower back strain, see an orthopedist.  He ordered a Toradol shot and gave me a prescription for Tramadol.  He might as well have given me a glass of water and a diet pill.  The Toradol did not alleviate any of the pain.  The Tramadol is a joke.  I take two pills every four hours and then I try to sit as still as possible because they just barely take the edge off.  My pain drops from a 9 to a 7 1/2 or 8 after taking both pills.  And they seem to have no cumulative effect.  Taking them all day does not make them work better in the evening.  And for some reason, they fuck with my ability to sleep.  So, not only am I having issues sleeping because of the pain, but the medicine that is supposed to alleviate the pain gives me insomnia.  It’s the only narcotic that does that to me.  It is also giving me terrible headaches.  However, I can’t seem to get anything else prescribed for the pain, so I’m suffering with the Tramadol and struggling with the side effects and lack of effects.

The blog posts that have been going up have all been sitting in my drafts pile, waiting for a rainy day to be brought out and used.  I’m trying to respond to everything, but even typing hurts my back and the more my back hurts, the more my legs hurt.

I’m trying to keep up with everyone and everything, but I admit, I’m falling down on the job this week.  I have an appointment with a specialist on Tuesday.  I’m hoping he can do something for me.  Until then, please forgive me if I go silent for long periods of time.  I’m struggling to maintain normalcy, but I feel like I’m losing the battle.

Leave a comment


  1. Maria D

     /  August 12, 2016

    I’m glad you are seeing a specialist – take care of yourself – ignore the jerks


  2. I really hope you begin to feel better soon. Very soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hope the dr can help good wishes coming your way

    Liked by 1 person


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