Recently, I was in the parking lot of my local grocery store. I’m in a lane clearly marked with arrows as being one way. There is a car in front of me, we are both trying to exit into the main drive so we can leave the store. But this is not happening because this insane woman is trying to turn in the one-way exit.
I don’t use the term insane lightly. I know some kooky characters and some eccentric people, they keep life interesting. However, if this one is not insane, she’s just the biggest asshat on the planet, so I’m going with she needs to be medicated.
She has angled her sedan so that it is blocking the exit. Her window is rolled down and she is screaming at the top of her lungs at the car in front of me. I will not repeat the words that came out of her mouth. The profanity even made me blush, hard to do considering I swear like a drunken pirate having a bad day. Then the n-word begins to pour out of her mouth with such vehemence that people are actually stopping to stare at her.
So, why exactly is she losing her shit on the guy in the car in front of me? He won’t let her in the exit. There isn’t even room for two cars to be side by side in the lane. He’s in a sedan. I’m in the new-to-me Highlander, it has a broad wheel base, there is no way she can get past me without tearing the hell out of her car, my SUV, and every parked car near us.
I stick it in reverse and back up a little bit. The poor man in front of me follows suit and backs up. He pulls into an empty parking space, making way for the screaming psychotic in the sedan. Does she pull into the exit? No, she gets out of her damned car to continue berating him.
Finally, a security guard comes out along with a cop, because there’s a police substation in this particular grocery store. She sees the cop, gets in her car, and attempts to pull up the lane, like because the car in front of me moved there is now room for her to drive around me… She starts honking at me. I honk back. The cop knocks on her window and she sticks it in reverse and tries to drive away, because that’s what you should do when a cop knocks on your window. It fails, they get her pulled into a spot, with some assistance. I’m not needed, so I’m waved through.
The worst part, the entire bottom of the parking lot where we are encountering this act of parking lot rage has no cars parked in it. There are at least five empty spaces on either side in the lane I’m in and both lanes on either side of me (which are designated for the direction she wants to go).
Ten minutes of this nonsense. We can’t even be polite in parking lots. Or read directions as simple as arrows.
Thankfully, I did not act on my impulse to run her over when she got out of her car. However, I might have gotten some cheers and maybe stickers from the other people that were stuck in their parking spots waiting for this lunatic to finish her stupid tantrum over something that was clearly her fault.