Monday, I begin a two month long blog tour. I began getting the interviews and things in today. Today was also the start of the dart tournament that I’m running. I have help, but I don’t have patience or a “fuck it all” button, so I find it very stressful to run a tournament. My Klonopin should work as a “fuck it all” pill, but doesn’t. I realized why it doesn’t work that way today.
Yesterday morning and afternoon were split between tournament stuff and filling out interviews, guest posts, and character interviews. These are important for my blog tour, which I would like to be successful. It’s hard to do that without filling this stuff out.
But it can be summed up with one statement “You knew they were coming, you could have done it before we started the tournament stuff.”
Actually, I couldn’t because I didn’t get any of them until this morning when I booted my laptop and needed to send stuff to be printed for the tournament and found the email with the items in question. That’s like me telling someone they should have taken off work earlier, it doesn’t matter that they had customers, they knew it was coming, they should have dealt with it before the tournament.
Often, I feel that since I work at home, people think my “work time” is somehow less important than everyone else’s work time and that I can prepare for things that I can’t. I can’t dictate when blog tour hosts are going to get interviews to me any more than a Walmart cashier can dictate when they are going to get slammed with customers. This makes me stressed out and resentful. Not just because they are interrupting my routine, but because I feel like they think I should be able to do everything, at a moment’s notice, because I don’t have a 9-5 job.
Then everyone wonders why I’m upset the days I have to work the tournament. I do not have a 9-5 job, 5 days a week. I have a job that requires me to work 7 days a week and it could be at any time between when I wake up and when I go to bed. Yes there are days when I have down time, but they never seem to fall around the time we run tournaments. For example, in two weeks, I will be running another tournament. I will also be preparing Fortified Dreams for the editor. So, do I put off sending Fortified, ensuring that I’m not worrying about edits during the tournament? Is putting a tournament in front of my job really a smart career move? It seems like getting Fortified edited is the more important of the two. I make money off books and they require an editor’s pen. I do not make money off of tournaments. As a matter of fact, I not only donate time, but money to them… money made off selling books.
Ugh, just have to make it through today. Then do it all over again in 2 weeks.