The Dark & Strange Side of Me

Believe it or not, there’s a strange, dark side to me.  Sometimes, I wonder how I’ve made it this long without killing someone.  There are a few things one should understand about me first.

  1.   I have a temper.  It takes a lot to push me to being more than irritated and annoyed, but once I’m past them.. Well, it isn’t pretty.  If I’m yelling and shouting, everything’s still good.  It’s when I become quiet that I’ve gone past irritated and into pissed off.  As a matter of fact, I can count the number of times this has happened.  As an example, let me tell a quick story from my teen years.  One of my friend’s was dating a guy I couldn’t stand.  We were out (her and I) and ran into him and some of his friends.  He became furious and grabbed her arm, jerking her to a more secluded spot to talk.  I lost it.  At 15, I was petite, it still took two guys (one of them a member of the high school wrestling team) to hold me back because I was determined to get to him.  I don’t think I would have killed him, but I certainly would have delivered a beating that he wouldn’t have forgotten.
  2. I have migraines, often, as in most days.  Migraines make me cranky.  They also increase my sarcasm and snide comments.
  3. Finally, I’m an asshole magnet.  You let me walk into a building where there’s an asshole and that asshole is going to gravitate to me (like Aislinn and serial killers).

In recent months, I have begun attracting assholes at gas stations.  I used to attract the attention of protesters at Planned Parenthood, but that’s calmed down.  It’s the same protesters every time I’m in and I think they just avoid me anymore.  Not without good reason.  I may not be able to speak to them verbally, but there are some non-verbal (non-vulgar) forms of communication that I can use.  My favorite is to stick my thumb to my nose and wiggle my fingers at them while sticking out my tongue.

Friday was a bad day.  I mean really bad, even for me.  Not health wise, but everything I touched fell to shit.  My novel writing software crashed and I learned that they would be discontinuing support of it (which means I now have to buy new software).  My iPhone updated and then wouldn’t allow me to make calls, requiring a call to tech support, which is the equivalent of setting myself on fire.  I attempted to do online bill paying, but there were problems because the sites didn’t accept debit or credit cards, they only accepted bank accounts… I don’t have checks.  I had to fix my phone so that I could call my bank, get the routing number, and then get back online to pay bills.  I downloaded a free trial of a new novel writing software and they sneakily charged my PayPal account, which irritated me.  It took me an hour to get that sorted, but I won’t be issued a refund until next week. However, before that, I paid for a piece of novel writing software that could be returned within 90 days if I wasn’t satisfied (an hour into it, I wasn’t satisfied and now, I’m waiting on that refund too).  So, the software search continues (I don’t like Scrivener).  Anyway, on a Friday night, my bank account is all screwed up and it will be next week before it gets sorted out.  Then there was my youngest nephew who made a super “oops”.

So, when I had to go to the gas station to buy cigarettes, I was in a foul mood.  I grabbed a Mountain Dew, deciding I needed the caffeine, then I noticed they had candy bars on sale 2 for $2 and grabbed 2 of those, and 2 packs of cigarettes. There was an issue ringing up the candy bars.  The sale price didn’t want to take.  There was also a problem running my loyalty card.  Behind me is a guy with a case of beer and a beer gut to match.  As the woman is apologizing and starting all over with ringing me up, he pipes up behind me “Like she needs 2 candy bars.”

Um… What?!?  I whip around, look him over quickly and respond “Judging by the fact that your gut is hanging over your belt buckle, I’d say you don’t really need that case of beer either, but you’re still buying it.”

Yes, I’m overweight.  No, I probably don’t need two candy bars.  However, I see no reason for other people to throw in their 2 cents on what I’m purchasing.  Especially people who are making the same poor lifestyle choices that I am.  It wasn’t like I was bringing both candy bars home to devour before dinner.   And people do this to me all the time!  One time while buying cigarettes the woman behind me thanked me “for being obese and a tobacco user and raising her health insurance premiums.”  This from a woman who had no facial expression, bloated lips, and a very dark tan that screamed “tanning bed addict.”  I’m guessing her skin cancer and botox injections are doing more damage to her health insurance premiums than my smoking, especially since I don’t carry health insurance and pay all my medical bills out of pocket.

This is why I hate leaving my house.  There’s a small percentage of the population that are complete assholes and I seem to attract them.   More on death, destruction, devastation, and disaster tomorrow.

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1 Comment

  1. OMG…./people never fail to amaze me…I just got home from Sam’s Club and I told my mom that it was only the fact that they would cal the cops and I would go to jail that kept me from scratching someone’s face off…lol…running errands is becoming hazardous to our health these days because people are so dog gone rude and can’t mind their own business! I have never lost it yet…I have come close …I’m afraid to find out what will happen when I do….lol

    Liked by 1 person


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