You did what?!


Murderers often panic after killing someone, getting rid of the body becomes of extreme importance.  However, sometimes, the disposal methods should be rethought.  Here’s a list of terrible disposal methods:

  • After murdering his wife in 2005, a man chopped her up using a rotation saw.  He then attempted to burn her body in their gas barbecue grill.  When it didn’t get hot enough to incinerate any part of it, he resorted to tossing it under a pile of leaves in the backyard.  He set the leaves on fire, but again couldn’t get the temperature hot enough, so he doused the fire and moved the body parts yet again.  This time he choose the fireplace.  Emergency crews were called to the scene (and arrested him) when a flaming body part rolled out of the fireplace and caught the house on fire.
  • In 2000, a man murdered another man over a drug deal.  He too broke out a saw and cut up the body, but instead of using fire, he used fish.  He dropped the cut up pieces into a fish tank full of piranhas.  Unfortunately for him, the piranhas refused to eat the bones and after a while (and what must have been some serious thinking), he gave up on his piranha theory and bought more aggressive fish, red devils.  The red devils were more interested in killing each other (red devils do not school well) than consuming the body parts.  He was busted when a friend came over to check out the murderer’s new fish and saw a hand in the tank.  (one would assume drugs were involved in the killing, disposal method, and desire to show off his new fish tank)
  • As recent as 2014, a man attempted to get rid of his wife’s remains using a riding lawn mower.  The lawn mower wasn’t powerful enough to cut through all the bones in the body and it ruined his lawn mower.  He stuck what was left of her in the freezer and took the mower to be repaired (where a worker noticed something very strange stuck in the belts and called police).  I can’t help but wonder if the man had watched Sinister one too many times.
  • This one is a good idea where Mother Nature refused to help.  A serial killer was disposing of victims using a creek in California during the early 2000s.  However, in an area known for draughts, this was not the best disposal method.  The first couple of bodies were too damaged by water to be of any evidentary value, but the creek ran dry shortly after he placed the remains of another victim in it.  Police were able to get DNA from the victim and match it to convicted felon.
  • Disposal is not just for bodies, it’s also for weapons.  Again in the early 2000s, a man shot his parents, sister, and other members of his family in an attempt to get a large inheritance.  To make it look real, he also shot himself.  Police believed his story of an intruder until they followed a blood trail (his blood trail) to a secluded spot on the property where he had hidden the gun.  In a surprising case of Karma always gets hers, the man survived surgery for his gunshot wound, but got an infection and died in the hospital from complications of the gunshot wound.
  • Pigs have been used by multiple killers to get rid of bodies.  One man, believing the wives’ tale that goats will eat anything, attempted to cover up the murder of a teenager by feeding the remains to goats.  The goats were having none of it and refused to eat the evidence.
  • And my personal favorite: After killing a young lady, a man decided to put her in a food processor to get rid of the body.  It seemed to be working until one of the larger bones broke the food processor.  Encouraged by his success so far, he bought three food processors to replace the first.  This time, he started removing the larger bones.  For some reason, he decided he could flush the processed remains down his toilet, not realizing that the small bones had splintered, not pureed.  Eventually, he clogged the plumbing for the entire apartment building and when people began to complain about the noise of the food processors that seemed to run all the time, a plumber and cops were called to the scene.

The moral of the stories above: If you are going to take the time to kill someone, take the time to think up a disposal method.

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2 Comments

  1. Maria D.

     /  October 8, 2015

    Lol…..these are not genius killers….lol…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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