A friend and I were texting yesterday about her father-in-law. After some talk about him, she asked how I was doing. I responded I’m good enough. After it sent, I started wondering what that meant, then the cartoonish light bulb went off in my head and I had an epiphany.
I’m not doing wonderful, there are things I would like to change. There are things I still want to fix. My health is mediocre, still having back problems, but I know the source and I’m working to fix it. I’m not living on pills and that is an improvement.
However, I’m not doing badly either. I broke a tooth and hurt my back last month, that sucks, but I also had the best book sales month of my life. Which do I think about more, my tooth and back or the royalty deposits I’ll be getting in November? You guessed it, I’m thinking about the book sales.
Am I churning out 30,000 words a day on my new books? No. Am I writing on them every day? Yes and I’m not just writing on one each day, I’m writing on several each day. So, there’s a book to fit my mood at all moments. I’ve also had some inspirational moments, like the clock tower that scared the hell out of me and a dart tournament where I had a blast with some wonderful people I don’t see enough and the third crappiest hotel I have ever stayed in.
Am I still irritated about some things? Yes, but I’m moving forward. Being as pissed off as Denis Leary doesn’t work for me, so I’m letting it go. My paralyzation and frustration with being overwhelmed is going away, especially as I buckle down and tackle the tasks that have been overwhelming me. I refuse to live that anymore.
I’m still going to be stressed, it might be part of my genetic make-up, but there are some changes I can make to remove parts of it. I’ve decided to make them.
So, am I wonderful? No. But I am good enough. Hopefully by the beginning of next year, I will be able to say I’m wonderful.