It is surprisingly difficult to think like Malachi Blake. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be hard. After all, he’s a psychopath. His motivations are much different than the average person’s. It seems only right that his thoughts would be significantly different than the average person.
When I write Aislinn Cain, I know that she doesn’t feel much, so she doesn’t talk about them much. Her mind doesn’t catalogue extraneous information, so she’s oblivious to most of the world around her, hence the lack of in depth descriptive paragraphs. She’s a narcissist, so everything relates to her. She is motivated by a sense of right and wrong that isn’t always apparent to anyone but herself.
Malachi’s different. Don’t get me wrong, he’s also a narcissist and believes the world revolves around him. But he does have more feelings than Aislinn; he chooses to ignore them. His mind catalogues everything, even if he doesn’t realize it. He has no real sense of right and wrong. He is less aware of himself, he cannot see most of his own shortcomings or fails to see them as shortcomings.
I find it hard to stay in his mindset. I struggle to identify most of his motivations. I grapple with which emotions he is willing to experience and which ones he is more likely to ignore. And his mind wanders… holy crap! Aislinn’s mind wanders too, but not like Malachi’s. Malachi makes connections that even I, as his creator, cannot figure out. I don’t know if that’s a sign of a bad writer or a well developed character.
However, I have definitely come to understand the differences between Aislinn and Malachi. And appreciate them, immensely.
Ok, back to work.