I sat at my computer for an hour last night, thinking about blogging… as in writing a blog post. It seemed like a good idea. Then I started thinking about how much my right foot hurt. Not that I type with my feet, but because it hurt a lot. I seem to be the only person on the planet to have developed Plantars Fasciitis because I sit indian style, a lot. We have a “tall person couch” and I am not a tall person. So, if I don’t tuck my feet under me, they dangle and don’t hit the ground, they also fall asleep and tingle.
Thinking about my right foot hurting, seemed to make my left foot jealous and I became aware of the pain in it… Completely unrelated pain, mind you. About a week ago, sometime while I slept, I guess the top of my left foot began to itch. And in my slept, I scratched it. Only, I sleep in socks and I’m pretty sure my horribly deformed (it isn’t, but it should be to match the pain that accompanies plantars fasciitis) right heel decided to do the scratching on the top of my left foot. I woke up with my sock stuck to an area the size of a baseball where a good portion of the skin layers had been removed.
While I was contemplating what to do about my feet (do I buy new shoes?!?), I realized that I was out of liquids to drink and I was getting thirsty. It had been about 10 minutes since I had sucked down any fluids and in my world, that’s eons. To cure this evil impairment of my mucus membrane of the mouth, I limped to the kitchen to get something to drink. I was tired of water and my Weight Watchers points had reset at midnight, so I opted for a glass of milk. There are three adults and no children in my household, imagine my surprise when I opened the fridge to get milk and found that gallon jug contained less than two ounces. It was struggling to cover the bottom of the plastic container. Surely, an adult could have finished 2 ounces of milk and then plastered the house with post-it notes that screamed we were out of milk. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed. I grabbed the stupid water and limped back into the living room.
Then I had another thought… My points had reset! I could drink a soda! Now, my house has Mountain Dew, Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, and Fanta in it at the moment (don’t judge). Mountain Dew, Sprite, and Fanta all seem to be worth 5 points per can, Coke & Pepsi are only worth 4. But it’s after midnight, do I want a caffeinated beverage this late? Does that one point really make a difference? Uh, yes, yes it does. I grabbed a Coke, because Pepsi is my SO’s thing, not mine. Once again, I limp back to the tall person couch and plop down. Wordpress still open in my browser, the cursor still flashing happily, waiting for commands.
And it irritates me that it can be so cheerful while both my feet hurt for stupid reasons and I’m drinking a caffeinated beverage at 1 am because there wasn’t any milk and I didn’t want the extra point of a Fanta or a Sprite. Then I realize I have just opened a soda… I have to drink said soda before going to bed or it will be a complete waste of a soda (but I can adjust my points to match how much I drank… kind of a silver lining). The can is full and I am sleepy. But I persevere because I’m not about to waste a soda, those things are expensive and yummy.
Then I remember there was a bottle of V8 Splash in the fridge! I could have had a small glass of that instead of opening a precious soda. Also, it’s only 2 points for 8 ounces and in the world of Weight Watchers, that is a big deal… It keeps reminding me to “eat my points, not drink them.” This seems like an odd thing to tell a person, until you actually look at my point log during a day. Five days out of seven, I have 10 points left after dinner, as long as I haven’t dipped into the soda an extra time or two. Those other days are like today: nephew surprised me with Jimmy John’s and he knows I’m not going to eat a lettuce wrap, so that was 10 points, then we had darts and it’s hard to fix dinner before darts, so we (my SO, my nephew, and his girly) went to Cheddar’s for dinner where I had a philly steak sandwich worth about 7,000,000 points. Thankfully, I don’t eat sides with a philly.
Oh and those extra 10 points? They want me to enjoy dessert or have a nice snack. Um, I don’t really do desserts. I’ve wanted them a few times this week when I ate really crappy foods and didn’t have the points for desserts. I also don’t snack much, popcorn once a week is about it. So how the hell am I supposed to “eat my points”? Which got me thinking about my dinner.
I love philly sandwiches (the only thing better is a cheeseburger covered in cheddar sauce and mushrooms). Phillies do not love me, they don’t even like me, not even a little and for some reason, I keep forgetting this. At this point, I’m thinking about both feet, because they are betraying me, my digestive system for the same reason, my stupidity in opening a soda when I could have had a V8 Splash, and the fact that I hate Weight Watchers… Not because it doesn’t work, but because I signed up for it and it has essentially told me exactly what I already knew: I drink too much non-water items and I should exercise more.
Then the FitBit light flashes. FitBit is convinced that not only am I lazy, but I don’t sleep enough. My regular 6 1/2 hours of sleep seems to offend FitBit. In just a few days, it has learned this shit about me and it likes to remind me of it. So the stupid bracelet flashes and I think “the battery must be low.” So I open the app and it tells me that a new day has started, I have walked 63 steps (mostly because I was thirsty) and then the “Log Sleep” section automatically pulls up as if to tell me to get my ass to bed. I do not need a babysitter. I especially don’t need one on my wrist. I will go to bed when I’m ready, despite the irritation it causes my electronic leash… besides, my soda can isn’t empty yet.
Now I’m even more agitated. I spent money on Weight Watchers (it’s a good program, despite my rantings). I’m only “testing” the FitBit because my mother-in-law underwent shoulder surgery and she isn’t going to be using it much for a while, but it integrates with Weight Watchers, to point out I’m lazy, so I will probably end up spending money on it or something like it. Then I remember the Garmin VivoFit also syncs with Weight Watchers… Maybe it will be less condescending. So, I go check them out. And wow! There’s a version with zero metal (which is awesome because I’m allergic to metal), but it isn’t the “basic” one… it’s the next great model… so it’s more expensive. And the logical part of my brain says this:
You have already shelled out money on Weight Watchers. The FitBit has already proven that you are lazy. Do you really need a Garmin VivoFit?
But of course, the non-logical part of my brain, the one that is gung-ho about shedding some pounds and getting healthier (this same part that bought a jump rope, because hey, boxers and MMA fighters use them… you don’t walk into a boxing gym and see ellipticals, it has to be good for you) says:
Of course you need one! How else are you going to measure your steps? How else are you going to measure your general activity? How will you increase it, if you aren’t tracking it?!?!?!
Which irritates me, because despite the logical argument by my logical brain. The illogical part is going to win and I’m going to spend money on a Garmin VivoFit SuperDuper Non-Metal version which seems to only have two things more than the basic model: the nylon wrapping for the interior part of the wrist and a heart rate monitor, which I’m fairly certain isn’t a good reason to buy one (I could put something over the metal studs on the FitBit or Garmin VivoFit basic!!).
Then I realize I’m typing a long blog post that seems to be made of randomness and possibly sleep-induced silliness an therefore have not been drinking the soda I refuse to waste.
Now, I’m at a crossroads… I can go ahead and post the silly thing or I can delete it. But I’ve obviously put some effort into it because it’s long enough to be considered a very short story and I hate to delete things that might qualify as a short story and damn, I didn’t write on my book at all tonight, instead opting for a blog post, a can of Coke, and some quality time evaluating the different buying options of the FitBit & Garmin VivoFit… also, I won’t lie, I spent some time looking at options on Jamberry nails too, because I’ve become an addict to those. I can’t paint my nails and a manicure (professionally done) lasts about a day before it starts having huge chips and missing spots in it, so Jamberry works for me. I bought 3 sheets today, which is 6 manicures… Each lasts about 10 days, so I’m covered for the next 60 days on manicures, but what if I want to get daring and do something out of character (like a color other than black & white)? I need to have options ready and available.
I managed to stop that madness and not buy anymore… 60 days is plenty of manicures… which got me thinking about my feet, because I could do pedicures, which reminded me that I currently hated both of them for their stupid acts of defiance. And I don’t like feet anyway, especially my feet, I’m not going to slap nail wrappers on them… My pinky toe wouldn’t even allow it since both of them have double nails that grow over top of each other (which is a weird thing for toe nails to do, but they are individual toe nails and they hurt coming off, so I just ignore them as best I can)…
So I blogged about absolutely nothing. And I won’t delete it because it’s over 1800 words and that’s the most I have written today!