Baby Shopping


People do not invite me to baby showers… with good reason.  I am not a “baby person.”  I’m also not fond of toddlers, children, tweens, or teens.  I have never understood why expecting mothers feel the urge to show me ultrasound pictures.  I have learned that exclaiming “Oh wow, the missing link!  Call Ancient Aliens!” does not win me brownie points.

Ultrasounds come in two forms: I can’t find it and It’s an alien.  Neither observation is correct, you’re supposed to lie and tell the shower how cute it is.

Recently, I was shown an ultrasound by someone who knows me well.  So, when I played “spin the ultrasound” trying to find it, she helped me.  When I did finally see it, I said “wow, you’re having an alien.”  But then I looked at it a little longer and realized, she wasn’t having just any alien, she was having Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch).  It looked just like Experiment 626.

And I told her that.  So, I have officially nicknamed it Stitch and she’s fine with it.  Last week, she gave me an invitation to her baby shower, adding that I did not have to come if I didn’t want to, because she knows how I feel about babies, baby shower games, and people who randomly rub pregnant women’s swollen bellies or coo at them.

Chances are good I won’t attend, but I will still send a gift.  I spent several days shopping and finally found the perfect gift from me.  I also found a “non-gift” and my darling cousin was nice enough to agree to cross stitch Stitch onto a baby bib for me.

And no, it’s not diapers… I realize how necessary and expensive those are and that mothers love getting them… but I just can’t bring myself to give something so impersonal.

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  1. I have been to a tun of baby showers – never had a baby – have been to a tun of bridal showers too – never married….lol….and I hate the games i usually find them ridiculous but I attend to make the “showeree” happy and share in their joy

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