Dear New Computer –

Dear New Computer –

I’d like to start out by saying, I will stop complaining about Windows 8.1.  I’m still not a fan, but it isn’t the worst thing to happen to the world of computing.  For example, spontaneous combustion is the worst.

However, I’d like to talk about a few other issues that seem to be prevalent.

Why don’t all my keys work all the time?  I’m a terrible typist to begin with.  If I have to remind myself every time I hit the space bar or “h” key to strike it a little hard than the others, one of two things is going to happen.  1.  There are going to be lots of missing “h”‘s and spaces.  2.  I will begin striking all the keys with incredible force until I have pounded the hell out of the keyboard and other keys will die a senseless, tragic death.  Please let this problem be resolvable by usage.

Why do you keep reinstalling Skype?  I have uninstalled this program three times.  I do not Skype.  I’m not the video chatting type.  I’m not even the chatting type.  I do not need this program.  I certainly do not need this program to run in the background all the time.  I would like for you to stop re-installing it.  Also, stop reminding me to set up a Skype account, log in to my non-existent Skype account, or giving me messages telling me that I’m not logged in to Skype and therefore, cannot receive messages.  It’s an issue of logic; I know that if I am not logged into Skype, I will not be able to receive requests to Skype.  Reminding me only ensures that we are going to go through the install/reinstall process all over again.

Finally, what is wrong with the mouse?  I have had three laptops and I am very comfortable using a swipe pad.  However, your swipe pad seems to have some issues.  For example, why did you highlight and delete three paragraphs tonight when I attempted to click the X button to close the program?  I will have to plug in a wireless mouse if this nonsense continues.

Your Interested Owner,


Leave a comment


  1. T.Vogt

     /  March 1, 2015

    Please tell me you put a piece of medical tape over the camera…you typing in your jammies..or worst without em is something you sooo do not want out there..and it may be sending when you don’t want hence skype.. good luck may the computer god smile on your system and clear it of the evil spirit haunting yours..


  2. Um…good luck? My dad has been ranting for a couple of days about things on the computer and he too is getting used to Windows 8.1. I think I said something the other day about it being a “social” person’s dream setup but not a setup for people who really want to use their laptops as a workhorse. I myself am still using Windows 7 Ultimate and will continue using it until Microsoft stops supporting it and hopefully by then …..there will be another system altogether!


  3. Patrick Reilly

     /  March 1, 2015

    Google. May not solve, but always Google for things like “uninstall skype windows 8.1”, “windows 8.1 h key”, “I’m about to kill my laptop”, “nothing that a knife won’t fix”, etc…



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