Bad, Good, & WTF Reviews…

I would prefer every review be 4 or 5 stars.  I know that’s impossible.  I’m a reader too.  Sometimes, I just don’t like a book.  It happens.  So when I get bad reviews, it isn’t a big deal.  But I have issues with some reviews… I call them WTF Reviews.

WTF Reviews are fairly easy to spot.  They are nonsense.  I have one on B&N right now that won’t go away.  It says this:

When master mark had gone, i walked to coltin. Peering in his cage, he was spitting out mud and coughing. I sighed. “Im sorry.” i whispered. Coltin whiped around. “Oh……its you. Look i didnt say anything! I just wanted to be free!” He reached his muddy hand out of the cage. “Am i going to be ok?” He was whimpering. Tears im his eyes. I shook my head “i dont know. I really dont.” Master mark came in and handed me a bucket of water and a sponge. “Clean him. Then begin the opperation. K.c will help you with the plans.” He left and i was put inside the cage. I soaked the cloth and began to wash him. He didnt move. He just layed there. When i finished, he sat up. K.c and i straped him to the table. K.c gave me the baby bottle filled with the milky stuff. He layed still. “Open wide coltin.” K.c had a thin wire tipped with white. Coltin shook his head and clamped his jaw shut. K.c nodded to me and i eased open his mouth. Feeding him some of the formula. Coltin refused to swollow, so k.c punched him in the gut, forceing him to swollow.

In theory, this review is about Tortured Dreams.  It has absolutely nothing to do with my book.  It was left anonymously and they did give me 5-stars, but I hope like hell people don’t look at it and think it’s actually from Tortured Dreams.

My newest one though is just as great…  3 stars with this gem of a review:

not read it

Wait?  What?  How can you review a book you have yet to read?  Your stars are pointless.  You might end up loving the book.  You might end up hating it.  So, what exactly to the 3 stars indicate?

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