We all know the famous story about the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln; gunned down in Ford’s Theatre by John Wilkes Boothe. What most of our history classes don’t talk about is that Lincoln wasn’t the only target that night. General Ulysses S. Grant as well as Vice President Andrew Jackson were all supposed to be assassinated the same night in a Confederate coup to break the Union. Grant didn’t go to the theatre, although he was invited by the President that night, and as a result (and befitting his rank as a very important general), he was too heavily guarded for his assassination to take place. I don’t know the reason for the failure to assassinate Jackson, possibly it was just because he was a rather frightening figure and the assassin-to-be got cold feet. (Seriously, I have no idea why Jackson lived… right place, right time? Heavy guards? A drunken brawl? Any of these are real possibilities.) – Grant’s unwillingness to go to the theatre led to a lot of speculation that he was aware the assassinations were going to take place and he beefed up his security that night. Why the President didn’t do the same is unknown, unless Grant forgot to tell him or he failed to get the telegraph message.
Why didn’t Jesse & Frank James get rich? Theoretically, they were very successful robbers, looters, and pillagers (and while everyone thinks they have some sort of Robin Hood like quality, they didn’t… they were men with guns in search of gold, no better than pirates). Both were said to have lived comfortable lifestyles, but given the amount of money they supposedly stole during their lifetimes, they should have been living quite lavishly. Neither was robbing the rich to feed the poor, they were mostly robbing the working class and lining their own pockets and yet, we have no idea where most of their ill-gotten gains went.
European settlers really did describe several tribes of Native Americans as being blond or red-headed. French trappers would certainly be in charge of passing along some of these genes, but they couldn’t possibly have done all of them. Furthermore, the tribes with the “afflicted” said that it had been going on for generations, long before French fur trappers were traipsing through the Mississippi River Valley and other areas. So, were they Viking descendants? Vikings were pretty fond of pillaging, looting, and raping. They were also known for taking multiple “wives.” But is 300 years long enough for it to have passed into oral legend in cultures acutely aware of their history? Possibly? Probably? But the fair-skinned Natives ran all along the eastern coast. Part of the reason the Croatoans were “more friendly” to the Roanoke colonists was because they had legends of being related to red-headed and blond ancestors. I don’t remember the Vikings landing in North Carolina. In recent years, it has come to the attention of the British Museum that maps made by White (the colony leader who left and had trouble returning) have a patch over a section and X-Rays have proved there is something under it, but we don’t know what. – For the record, it wasn’t abandoned over night either… The place was dismantled, neatly and organized… not something done by conquerors, so it was most likely done by the settlers. But why?
And my final “huh?” for the night: Has anyone noticed how incredibly cold it is in the Arctic Circle? Seriously? Anyone? Why the hell did ancient people walk across the Bering Strait during the last ice age to populate North America? This is definitely not the path of least resistance and the Arctic Circle is cold now, imagine how flippin’ cold it was during the last ice age. A heat wave during that time was probably still in the negatives (I don’t actually know how cold it is in the Arctic Circle during an ice age, but I’m guessing Sid, Manny, and Diego were all thinking “ah hell, no, I’m not going there, I don’t have enough fur and fat to survive in that sort of weather.”). But boats have been around for a very long time. It is easier to build a boat than a wheel (I know this doesn’t sound logical, most of us are not building boats, we’d rather build a wheel, but we have technology to help us). So why do we keep telling everyone that Natives had to cross via the Bering Strait land bridge during the last ice age? If our ancestors had an ounce of sense, they would take boats across the ocean (which would be much smaller because of all the ice), then moved north as the weather warmed up. Plus, there’s no telling how many small island cropped up during the last ice age that are now underwater. If they had taken boats, they could stop at all these now sunken islands for supplies, rest, and maybe some nookie… after all, this path is warmer and has fewer obstacles (for starters, there’s a lot more food in the ocean than the barren tundra, particularly during an ice age).