Getting Older


As I age, there are odd things that happen and not just physically.  I’m talking about mentally weird things.

For example, there are very few books that have ever disturbed me enough that I had trouble sleeping (and never a movie).  Stephen King’s The Shining and H. P. Lovecraft’s short story Rats in the Wall.  I am mildly afraid of topiary, which is an odd fear, thanks to The Shining.  Rats in the Wall just disturbed the hell out of me; nothing like a little deranged genealogy and descent into madness and cannibalism to make you not want to close your eyes at night.

Tonight, I decided to watch a classic cult horror film that I have seen at least two dozen times: The Exorcist.  For the record, I’ve read the book twice.  I was fine while watching it.  After the credits had rolled and the movie had gone off, I found myself searching for something “cute” to watch.  Strange, I had planned on watching a different horror movie.  So why had I gone in search of a show like Monsters University?

Then I really thought about.  Twice while writing Explosive Dreams, I found myself watching reruns of Too Cute! after finishing a chapter.  So, in the last month, I’ve become squeamish?  Why did I become squeamish?  Seriously, this is a problem.  I love horror movies.  I love horror stories.  I enjoy reading and watching things about serial killers and real cases of possession and real ghost stories and all sorts of things.

Anyway, so I stopped searching for episodes of Too Cute! (please reserve judgments here, we all have vices) and grabbed the horror movie I was looking for…  As it finished, I realized that it wasn’t the violence, the gore, or even the subject matter that bothered me.  I figured it out.  I’m not becoming squeamish, I’m becoming a prude.  It was the language and a few scenes (if you’ve seen the movie or read the book, you can guess which one).

I opened Explosive Dreams and there it was.  The two chapters that gave me nightmares contained those two things.  Holy crap.

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  1. I don’t know if I would say it’s that you are becoming a prude…I’d say that you are becoming more “selective” about what entertains or gratifies you…I don’t have a problem with language, nudity or sex in a movie or book but I feel like it needs to drive the story forward…if it’s just there for
    “shock” or “surprise” value…then it’s something I could do without …just my thoughts

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